TAOISM: Shit happens.
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
HINDUISM: This shit happened before.
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit.
AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
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