Saturday, May 12, 2012

How to Identify Where a Driver is From

  1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
  2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
  3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
  4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
  5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.
  6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
  7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.
  8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.
  9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.
  10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.
  11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

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